not your kind of people

[19:53:22] Premasiri: http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/gamesblog/2013/may/20/starcraft-2-greg-idra-fields
[19:53:37] Brosencrantz: “the bad boy of pro-gaming”
[19:53:38] Brosencrantz: ahahahaha
[19:53:41] Brosencrantz: this will be hilarious
[19:53:55] Hovercraft: “One day videogames will be an Olympic event.”
[19:53:56] Hovercraft: no
[19:54:13] Premasiri: It’s purple and patronising and written by someone with apparently little actual understanding of esports, as can be expected
[19:54:20] Brosencrantz: god I hate journalists
[19:54:25] Premasiri: but it’s also in the guardian, and at least attempted thorough research
[19:54:48] Premasiri: so while it’s a poor representation, at least it’s a public representation
[19:55:48] Demsale: ” but was one of the most dominant Zergs in Starcraft II.”
[19:55:51] Demsale: he fucking wishes
[19:56:00] Premasiri: no
[19:56:08] Premasiri: that bit’s not exaggeration
[19:56:23] Premasiri: it was a shortlived and mainly down to the lack of competition rather than his own brilliance
[19:56:30] Premasiri: but for a few months he was the best
[19:56:36] Demsale: …early beta?
[19:56:37] Brosencrantz: you know that epiphany moment you get when you’ve spent a childhood reading newspapers you found randomly and going “oh man I’m so informed this is so cool and authoritative”
[19:56:45] Brosencrantz: and then for the first time
[19:56:56] Brosencrantz: you read a newspaper article on something you actually know a lot about
[19:57:04] Brosencrantz: and you’re like “but that’s WRONG you fucking STUPIDHEAD”
[19:57:28] Brosencrantz: and then you realise that almost all journalism is of that standard
[19:57:28] Premasiri: yeah
[19:57:54] Brosencrantz: because it’s written people who know about newspapers, not about the actual topic
[19:58:02] Brosencrantz: it’s people trying to be jacks-of-all-trade at knowledge and almost always failing
[19:58:04] Brosencrantz: fuck journalism
[19:58:38] Premasiri: but then on the other hand, even more specialised stuff, such as slasher’s esports journalism, where he IS an expert on what he writes about
[19:58:43] Premasiri: is no better
[19:59:12] Premasiri: so yes, fuck journalism, but not fuck journalists just because they’re not experts on what they might be paid to write about
[19:59:31] Demsale: http://pokemon.alexonsager.net/46/58 jesus christ
[19:59:46] Demsale: http://pokemon.alexonsager.net/42/15 JESUS CHRIST
[20:00:32] Premasiri: you need to get off the internet
[20:01:31] Brosencrantz: well yeah, and most expert scientific stuff or other esoteric, specialised opinion is mostly written by myopic fucks incapable of seeing that any field other than theirs can have any salience
[20:01:33] Brosencrantz: cf: me and war
[20:02:51] Brosencrantz: clearly, the only solution is to not believe anything you read and go instead with your own knee-jerk/gut feeling which is naturally based on your own specific and largely skewed life experiences and the ingrained prejudices of the culture that raised you
[20:02:59] Brosencrantz: brb starting a social commentary blog
[20:03:28] Premasiri: better hop on the fixie bike to get to starbucks
[20:03:33] Premasiri: can’t write it on my macbook till I’m there

h company has only liberated the cafes

[23:33:42] Brosencrantz: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/11/Free_Door_Gunner.jpg proof that it’s still possible to look like a massive dork even while holding a machine gun and hanging out of a helicopter
[23:33:51] N_1: is that a selfie
[23:34:57] Brosencrantz: I should kill you where you sit for implying I would ever wear fucking hipster glasses
[23:35:09] N_1: and take selfies
[23:35:28] N_1: this is my rifle, there are many like it, but I liked this one before it was popular
[23:35:42] Brosencrantz: <3

maybe it was lyndon larouche and mail fraud

[19:48:45] Brosencrantz: do you read SMBC?
[20:39:18] Vectorplasm: sometimes!!
[22:29:51] Brosencrantz: read today’s
[22:30:23] Brosencrantz: and then
[22:30:24] Brosencrantz: http://zirak.github.com/ConceptionConnection/
[22:30:56] Vectorplasm: FFFFFFFff
[22:31:05] Brosencrantz: I got the fucking lockerbie bombing >:|
[22:31:45] Vectorplasm: Time, Inc. and Warner Communications announce plans for a merger, forming Time Warner.
definitely this
[22:31:53] Vectorplasm: The Purley Station rail crash in London leaves 5 dead and 94 injured.
no wait.
[22:32:03] Brosencrantz: from what I’ve heard of your dad
[22:32:05] Brosencrantz: I don’t want to comment

“please be quiet. you’re going to ruin asari for me.”

Dat come-hither smile.

[14:51:58] Brosencrantz: huh, banshees actually have detailed vaginas
[14:53:09] Brosencrantz: I wonder how that went down with the texture artists
[14:53:24] Brosencrantz: “ok chaps, today’s assignments: the wracked, pipe-curled thighs, distended pot belly, and detailed genitalia of a reaperised asari. forget the clitoris and you’ll be fed to the husks.”
[14:53:28] Hovercraft: which pic are you looking at?
[14:53:36] Brosencrantz: http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/074/6/7/mass_effect_3__banshee_reference__by_troodon80-d4sut6n.jpg bottom left
[14:53:51] Brosencrantz: troodon80 has a bunch of ass effect references, I was counting eyes
[14:55:46] Hovercraft: remember that stag party conversation you overhear in the bar on illium in 2?
[14:56:09] Hovercraft: where there’s a human, turian and salarian watching an asari stripper writhe around
[14:56:41] Hovercraft: and they all think she looks most similar to their species
[14:56:59] Hovercraft: then one of them suggests that maybe the asari mind-control them into perceiving them like that
[14:57:16] Brosencrantz: …do you think people see banshees as horrible giant scrawny naked screaming versions of their own species?
[14:57:23] Hovercraft: maybe
[14:59:16] Hovercraft: but I always thought it would have been cool if there was later some explanation where it was just psychology that each race focuses on the similarities between the asari and their species
[14:59:29] Hovercraft: like how people see faces in electrical sockets
[14:59:46] Brosencrantz: mm
[14:59:53] Hovercraft: turians focus on the head tentacles, which are like their crests
[14:59:58] Hovercraft: salarians focus on the…dunno
[15:00:01] Brosencrantz: salarians focus on their… skin or whatever
[15:00:02] Hovercraft: humans focus on the everything
[15:00:08] Hovercraft: ooh skin, good
[15:00:40] Hovercraft: it’s a stretch, and it would still be bullshit because ultimately the asari were designed by humans
[15:00:45] Hovercraft: but it’s a nice thought
[15:01:28] Hovercraft: also, mordin would have delivered the explanation
[15:01:42] Brosencrantz: well, humans focus on the general shape, the face and t&a, and disregard that they’re the wrong colour and have the wrong skin and hair
[15:01:51] Hovercraft: indeed
[15:01:57] Brosencrantz: because sexy blue alien girls
[15:02:23] Hovercraft: it’d be about what each species considers secondary sexual characteristics
[15:02:48] Brosencrantz: which if we really want to develop it with bullshit evopsych, might be because t&a are signs of sexual maturity and fertility in humans
[15:03:08] Brosencrantz: whereas maybe a nice firm crest has the same significance for avian turians
[15:07:09] Hovercraft: it’d also tie in with that question of like “how do crows or mice or whatever other animal tell one another apart? they all look the same”
[15:07:51] Hovercraft: when maybe they only look the same to our untrained eyes, while what we think are big visual differences between individual humans are invisible to other animals
[15:07:58] Hovercraft: animals with good enough vision, at least
[15:08:06] Brosencrantz: animals in the mood for love
[15:08:50] Brosencrantz: wonder how something as awful, child-corrupting and terrifying as a vagina made it past the moral guardians
[15:10:03] Brosencrantz: I guess the fact that banshees are about as unsexy as it’s possible to be while also being a naked lady helps
[15:11:50] Brosencrantz: or maybe they just got distracted by the dude on dude and the krysae sniper rifle

[11:55:48 PM] Parsley: anyway i’m actually about to go to bed, i need to get up early-ish tomorrow to go to france
[11:56:10 PM] Brosencrantz: before you do
[11:56:15 PM] Brosencrantz: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maozc249aX1qigaa4o1_1280.jpg look at the man front right
[11:56:25 PM] Brosencrantz: think about him in your dreams.
[11:56:34 PM] Parsley: i’m aroused
[11:56:47 PM] Brosencrantz: I have hundreds like him.
[11:57:02 PM] Parsley: ooohh second lieutenant oooohhhhh
[11:57:12 PM] Brosencrantz: hello parsley
[11:57:18 PM] Brosencrantz: I have just returned to base
[11:57:27 PM] Brosencrantz: and I am looking so moustachioed
[11:57:42 PM] Brosencrantz: and my giant hairy fur coat thing opened?
[11:57:51 PM] Brosencrantz: let’s do it
[11:57:59 PM] Brosencrantz: and I will leave my thigh length woolly boots on
[11:58:14 PM] Parsley: meanwhile in a 20 mile radius of this event
[11:58:42 PM] Brosencrantz: ammo randomly cooking off
[11:58:48 PM] Brosencrantz: russians getting chills
[11:58:56 PM] Parsley: it was amazing
[11:59:02 PM] Brosencrantz: the end.

[11:10:21 PM] Brosencrantz: good hoax story went round tumblr today
[11:10:36 PM] Brosencrantz: involving samsung paying apple with 20 billion nickels
[11:22:50 PM] Hovercraft: 20 billion nickels would weigh 100 million kilograms
[11:23:21 PM] Hovercraft: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081130131743AAFuroy
[11:23:23 PM] Brosencrantz: the hoax did involve a fleet of trucks
[11:23:35 PM] Hovercraft: “You can research this information easily by yourself on the Internet.”
[11:23:45 PM] Brosencrantz: that’s what he’s doing :D
[11:23:52 PM] Hovercraft: I googled “weight of a nickel” and got that page, yes
[11:23:55 PM] Hovercraft: what a fuckass
[11:24:46 PM] Hovercraft: how much do you think a truck can carry?
[11:25:06 PM] Hovercraft: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_pounds_of_freight_can_a_semi_truck_carry righto
[11:25:27 PM] Hovercraft: https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=how+much+can+a+truck+carry&sugexp=chrome,mod=13&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#hl=en&safe=off&sclient=psy-ab&q=75000+pounds+in+kilograms&oq=75000+pounds+in+kilograms&gs_l=serp.3…1369.8338.0.8453.25.23.0.2.2.1.138.1767.20j3.23.0…0.0…1c.bFaCccByV2c&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&fp=e66a99fc09647756&biw=1858&bih=1019 okay
[11:25:43 PM] Brosencrantz: 34 tonnes!
[11:25:45 PM] Brosencrantz: not bad
[11:25:50 PM] Hovercraft: so about 3000 trucks would be needed
[11:26:02 PM] Brosencrantz: or a hundred journeys by 30 trucks
[11:26:15 PM] Brosencrantz: the logistics is not the biggest plothole here
[11:26:27 PM] Brosencrantz: the biggest plothole is why samsung has a billion dollars in 5c pieces
[11:26:50 PM] Hovercraft: do 20 billion nickels even exist?
[11:27:02 PM] Brosencrantz: I… dunno
[11:27:04 PM] Brosencrantz: probably
[11:27:23 PM] Brosencrantz: fucking coppers accumulate everywhere
[11:27:43 PM] Hovercraft: nickels are silver
[11:28:08 PM] Hovercraft: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_coins_exist_in_the_world FUCK
[11:28:08 PM] Brosencrantz: shit, so they are
[11:28:18 PM] Brosencrantz: probably not then
[11:32:12 PM] Hovercraft: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Mint_coin_production hmm
[11:32:35 PM] Brosencrantz: are you a bad enough dude to copy that into a spreadsheet?
[11:32:58 PM] Brosencrantz: nickels have been minted since the civil war
[11:32:59 PM] Hovercraft: so they produce about 1 billion nickels per year, but don’t know how long they stay in circulation for
[11:33:05 PM] Hovercraft: probably several decades though
[11:33:18 PM] Brosencrantz: the hell happened in 2009?
[11:34:08 PM] Hovercraft: dunno, there didn’t need to be much of a top-up?
[11:34:28 PM] Hovercraft: so it’s feasible that 20 billion exist
[11:34:34 PM] Hovercraft: but getting that many in one place is absurd
[11:35:19 PM] Hovercraft: …why would I want to copy that into a spreadsheet?
[11:35:36 PM] Brosencrantz: I looked up a graph of the price of copper
[11:35:52 PM] Hovercraft: did it spike?
[11:36:05 PM] Brosencrantz: ish, it was at rock bottom early 2008 and climbed steeply, but carried on climbing
[11:36:11 PM] Brosencrantz: peaked mid 2010
[11:36:23 PM] Brosencrantz: looking at nickel now
[11:37:01 PM] Brosencrantz: nope, same story, very low through 08 then rising steadily
[11:37:38 PM] Brosencrantz: and nickel’s prices were highest in mid 06
[11:37:49 PM] Brosencrantz: when production was a billion and a half
[11:38:06 PM] Hovercraft: needs must
[11:38:25 PM] Brosencrantz: americans suck at seigniorage
[11:39:16 PM] Brosencrantz: I love that we can actually research this sort of shit effortlessly
[11:39:21 PM] Brosencrantz: for no better reason than because we’re BORED
[11:39:25 PM] Hovercraft: o/\o
[11:39:45 PM] Hovercraft: and to give us a sense of smug superiority over tumblr halfwits who swallow anything they’re told
[11:39:55 PM] Brosencrantz: like, in a shitty thriller twenty years ago researching this sort of information would involve an attractive harvard grad and a romance subplot

[00:15:30] Hovercraft: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forest_Finns this name just makes me think of populations of badass ghillie suited finnish snipers
[00:15:48] Hovercraft: subsisting on nuts and berries and communicating only with high-velocity rounds
[01:51:52] Brosencrantz: here we see the male has made a display of frozen russian soldiers in the hopes of attracting a mate
[01:53:00] Brosencrantz: he sits in a barely-deep-enough trench smoking a cigarette, the tiny glow the finnish equivalent of bellowing his availability to the world
[01:53:19] Hovercraft: his winter ghillie plumage is magnificent, with many beautiful hues ranging from pure white to a light grey
[01:55:17] Hovercraft: the female is more drab and conspicuous in her default navy sweatshirt and khaki trousers*
[01:56:52] Brosencrantz: if the display pleases her, she will indicate so by shooting the end off the cigarette from 800m away
[01:57:02] Brosencrantz: the male must then find her concealed position using only that one sound
[01:58:39] Brosencrantz: during the breeding season the endless snow-buried woods are filled with the amorous crack of mosin nagants and the occasional screams of dying ivans
[01:59:00] Hovercraft: if he is successful, she will accept him as her mate and the pair of them will retire to a nearby sauna
[02:06:22] Hovercraft: the young are born unable to walk, but within minutes they are able to crawl around prone, accurately judge wind speed and direction and zero a sight.

* NB: Female characters can’t equip ghillie suits in DayZ at the moment.