“The updater is updating itself so it can install an update. But it turns out it’s the wrong updater, so I had to update the Six Updater GUI in order to access the GUI to the updaterWHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING COMPLICATED? WHY?”
“Please don’t tell me that you need to find a fucking can opener to eat cans. Please. I’m all in favour of realism, up to a point.”
“Use your teeth! What are you, some kind of pussy? Swallow it whole. What’s the matter, your stomach acid can’t digest steel?”
Tag: queue
So, I ran myself through Akinator.
Is your character an adult man? YES
Is your character linked with sports? NO
Does your character live in England? YES
Does your character have children? NO
Has your character really existed? NO (The cunning djinn guesses it’s you in nothing flat if you don’t claim to be fictional.)
Is your character from a TV series? NO
Is your character a barbarian? PROBABLY NOT/NOT REALLY
Does your character use guns? I DON’T KNOW
Is your character part of an evil group? YES
Is your character found in a novel? YES (In the acknowledgements of several, thank you Mr Reeve.)
Is your character bad? PROBABLY/PARTIALLY
Is your character the main character of the work in which he appears? YES
Does your character have a famous quote? I DON’T KNOW
Does your character live with his mother? NO (well, I’ll be moving back in with the folks in a couple of weeks, but…)
Has your character ever been in a movie? NO
Is your character a human being? PROBABLY/PARTIALLY
Has your character been into the future? NO
Does your character rub shoulders with vampires? NO
Does your character drive a car? NO
Is your character linked with drugs? NO
I don’t know how to respond to this.
A fun example of Craven Nice Guy Bullshit that my friend Emma had to deal with lately (after some random wanker off the same IR masters she’s doing next year added her on facebook.)
Name has been redacted to protect the, uh… guilty.
Shitbird: can I ask some questions please?
Emma: Yes, of course.
Shitbird: Are you British? Are u student? if, yes, which faculty/college? I have got offer at Birmingham University. but I am student in Malaysia now, and the last one are you married please?
Emma: Yes I am British and a student. I’m currently in the arts and law school sitting my final year exams for my BA, but am switching to the polsis school next year for my masters. No, I am not married.
Shitbird: that is good, you made me happy, „ what is your plan after doing master? have you thought about to leave UK for spend your live and getting job? have you ever thought about get married with non-British person? „ I hope I do not make you upset, because these questions are quite privacy, thanks
Emma: I hadn’t completely decided on my plans after my masters, either some sort of work abroad or a PhD probably. Several of my friends are not British citizens so I don’t have a bias either, I’ll marry who I end up marrying I suppose. What are you currently studying?
Shitbird: sorry I did not get your massage in this sentence ( I’ll marry who I end up marrying I suppose) would you be specific please, well I am doing Master degree in Strategic and international relations, this is my first semester,
Shitbird: sorry second, semester,
Emma: Simply that I haven’t got a criteria list per se in regard to whom I marry
Shitbird: every body has some criteria, but one different from other, just tell me some of them which might you have? please„ would you let me some time I wanna to think about some things, can you tell me when you will complete your BA please…
Shitbird: please tell me, How old are you?
At which point she stopped replying.
Bunch of insanely wonderful WW1 photos. Go and look at the whole set.
The worst thing about going through all my RUM SODOMY & THE LASH 1588-1945 powerpoints for revision was seeing this shiny-headed battleship-fetishising charlatan’s beardy goddamn face popping up in random corners.
God I hate him.
“It was often possible to follow the course of an approaching cannonball with the naked eye, but it was regarded as bad form to move or duck; as Sgt.Maj. William Ballam of the 2/73rd remarked to Pvt William Dent, ‘Damn you sir, what do you stoop for? You should not stoop if your head was off!’ Almost immediately Ballam was struck dead by a ball which hit him in the middle of the face, whereupon Dent turned to the mangled remains and said, ‘Damn it, sir, what do you lie there for? You should not lie down if your head was off’; which of course, it was.”
Me: “Hello, what’s all this in aid of?”
Cold, sheepish-looking folks behind huge table of cupcakes: “We’re um Christian Union, we’re um giving out cake.”
“Ooh! So the cake is FREE?”
“Yes, Christian Union. Did you see our tent on campus?”
“I did. Hard to miss. Free cake?”
“We’re doing things like this all over campus, to talk to students.”
“So you’re handing out free cakes to benighted heathens?”
“Well-”
(NOM)
“I wouldn’t put it in QUITE those words-”
(NOM)
“But yes,”
(NOM)
“free cake.”
“Must dash, cheers for the cake! Big ups to God, yo.”
underneath the open sky 